Ed Young

Day 4 - Priority

Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:5


The Bible never says how often a husband and wife should have sex. It does, though, tell us that it is unhealthy for a couple to abstain from sex for an extended period of time. The break in physical intimacy only allows Satan to infiltrate the marriage with temptation.

This passage does give one specific reason to abstain for a time, but both husband and wife must agree. The one reason is an extended season of prayer.  But you don’t have stop having sex in order to enjoy the incredible benefits of praying together and for each other. Praying with your spouse takes vulnerability that will accelerate your bond emotionally and spiritually. This emotional and spiritual connection will, in turn, lead you back to a time of physical connection.

Prayer coupled with an obedient life will give you God’s perspective on what you should be saying “yes” and “no” to together. Get ready to say “yes” to the best and “yes” to sex with your spouse when you prioritize with God’s help.

If you are consistently too tired or too busy for sex with your spouse, consider the words from the passage above. They are still applicable today.

After this week of the Sexperiment, maintain your connection with your spouse—intentionally and regularly. Use these seven days as a model of intimacy for your marriage 365 days a year.


  • Ask your spouse, “Do you feel your needs and desires are being met often enough on a weekly or monthly basis?”
  • Ask your spouse, “Would you say our love making is a priority to me in respect to the time and creativity I invest into it?”
  • Answer this together, “What are actions we could take together to remove the obstacles that keep us from having sex more often with each other?”


  • Make a list of the “sexcuses” that have blocked intimacy in your marriage. Discuss your feelings about them and make a firm commitment that none of them will be reasons for not completing the sexperiment.


  • Read the introductory section on pages 35-51 of Sexperiment.
  • Read about additional action steps in this area of your marriage on page 53 of Sexperiment.
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